Something to ponder upon

Just now, I spent about 30 minutes to briefly scanned through my LiveJournal entries which I made from 7th August 2004 until 15th May 2005. And here I am, typing away and wondering why am I having the "What-Why-When-Who-and-How" situation.

Nine months of entries of my personal life, work life and love life flashed back at me. Not that I have forgotten most of the events, but somehow it really brought to my attention that I actually wrote (typed) quite alot last time. Well, at least more than the current me with the current blog. Haha.

Is there a permanent blockage in my mind like some long term writer's block? Or are there clusters of memories that I chose to put it away and hide it in the darkest corner of my head?
I couldn't remember that I could make entries with English words which I seldom speak of, although not those that are sophisticatedly delivered. Nor I could remember that I ever made entries in Chinese, that I almost think that I've gotten someone else to type for me.

But languages and words aside. Over these years, I think I've became a different person. Not sure it's for better or worse, just different. Facing new challenges and different kinds of people, I've changed subconsciously when dealing with people and events. I felt that I was able to stay confident in dealing with certain issues, while trying to stay low and away from other things. I won some things, and I lost some too.

In anyways, I still feel that one should not regret in doing his stuff once decision has been made. Making a leap to face changes will always expose yourself and gain experiences, in one way or the other.

ps: I can't sleep and I'm typing rubbish. Again. This has never changed in me. =)