My mood isn't that good these few days, especially since Saturday night.
Once again, I drifted back to my past.
Like I told my friend, I feel sad and I wana forget abt it.
Yet I know that it is quite impossible, at least for now.
Even with a long period of time given, I might not get healed completely.

Everyday whenever I'm alone or even at work sitting at my desk by myself, I feel that I can actually weep anytime. Yes. WEEP is the word. "To express emotion, such as grief or sadness, by shedding tears."

How I wish I can just weep myself into a state of exhaustion.
if have to wait i will ... if i ever have this chance i will wait ...

Fuck! I got molested!

On my way home in the Night-Rider just now. One freaking indian faggot who was sitting few seats in front of me, kept turning back and looked at me. Fine. Nevermind.

Then he left his seat and sat beside me!!! What the fuck!! He crossed his arms and pretended to sleep. Yeah right. That's not all. He stretched two of his fingers and touched my thigh!!!

By then there were quite alot of people in the bus, I kept looking at his fingers and stared at him. I did it a few times until the people sitting behind me knew what's happening I think.

Lucky for him, I was alighting soon. Otherwise I would have give him a good one in front of all the passengers in the bus!! To hell with that bloody fucking faggot!!

Seeing him spoilt my night.

When you are looking for a relationship, what is your actual intention?

For the sake of having the status of being attached?
To have a company when you are lonely?
To accompany the person when he/she is lonely?
Longing for the feelings of taking care of the person you love?
Longing for someone to take care of you?

To treat someone you love like a baby?
Give him/her the best you can offer, and do you hope to get the same in return?
Or it's the selfless you that you have never thought of such?

It can carry on and on.

Childhood Fantasies

When I was young, I always like to think that what if one day while I'm waiting for the bus to go home and a big limousine stops in front of me, the driver addresses me as Young Master. I will be so shocked and at the same time, happy. Hahaha~~

Maybe I can sing better after drinking Voda Voda...

Voda.. Voda.. Water.. For Life...

*chuckles*

11/12 June 05

Two days one night in Kukup, West Malaysia

Kinda fun with my mum, sis and nephew for a short trip to Malaysia. With sis's friends and neighbours, we had our trip down to Kukup, west of Malaysia. Took about 2hrs to reach there, crossing the Tuas 2nd Link.

Visited a "Dragon fruit" farm on the first day, then settled down in a chalet at Kukup. Visited some shopping malls in Johore the next day before ending the tour in the evening. Tour guide was friendly and informative.

In a whole, the tour is for people who wana gather a group of friends to have a jolly good time for a short break.

So happy! Those aunties there thought that I'm my nephew's elder brother, and said that I'm aged of 18/19!!! Muahahaha~~~

SUPERSTAR

After watching the first round of Superstar audition, I almost teared. Not because that some of the participants are too good, but it's the determination of some of the people. Visually handicappeds actually joined in the audition, some passed the first round while some didn't get in. They sure can sing, afterall like one of them mentioned, "Because of our disabilities, we can only do limited stuff like singing." I truely admire their courage to join the audition, really.

Felt very lost and helpless last night. What I could only do was to listen. That's all. I didn't want to aggrevate the situation, I really didn't mean it.

Tired. Very tired. All I do is work and work and work. I really need a break, have a break with my loved one. Yes, one.

Today Monday! NoGovernment today!!

My boss is on leave today. My lady boss is on leave too. Almost like no government. Went out for a recce in the morning till noon, then went for lunch at Burger King Raffles City Shopping Centre. Walked around with my colleagues to take a look at the Lego fair. Those displays are cool!!

Went home at six on the dot. It has been some time I have leave office so early. Damn it. Projects coming soon. Gonna be busy in July. Shucks...

Going Kukup this weekend with my family. Gonna miss dear le... Hardly meet up during weekdays, now gonna miss a weekend. Sigh..

Hey! Didnt realise that with effect from today, I'm free from my bond at work!! It's 5 June 2005! Yey~~~ Thanks to Kenny for reminding me!!

Didn't go out today. Being a good boy staying at home while surfing the net, chatting with friends in MSN the whole afternoon, napped a short while and wait for dear to reach home.

The event is finally over! Yey~~ Have a good rest and start off with other projects!! Hahaha~~ I need a break next weekend. *Yawnz*

Didn't sleep much today, the room was quite warm and I was thinking of some stuff all night.

I was waken up by a phone call from my workplace. Fark! It's only 9 in the morning. Can't sleep anymore, don't feel the sleepiness or tiredness at all. I don't know what to do today, or where to go. I didn't get the answer I wanted last night. Perhaps, what I can do is to wait. Or drop by somehere near by myself, do some window-shopping before my payday.

I remembered that I was being told about the ratio of 9:1 for relationships. I should learn how to reserve that "1" for myself while putting the "9" into the relationship. I wonder if I've done it or not. Sigh..

Wish that the event is over, then I can have a short break before starting on the next project. Got this feeling that I'm putting work before my relationship. Shucks..

Yesterday, I was busy at work. Had a heavy breakfast, then dinner at home. That's all.

Today is the beginning of the event. Damn busy even though I'm not the main coordinator. Reached home at about 10.30pm. Managed to catch half of the Hongkong drama in Channel U.

Tomorrow is Friday already. Another weekend is coming. Too fast, too little time to do my work. I wana watch movie with my partner.